trust me.

so i guess the emo-ness in me makes me blog :P

Another good weekend for the books. from spending Saturday evening laughing and crying with tg’s family to sleepover with the girlies that lead to late night Milo, Tea and *cupboard* to watching a movie till 4am then waking up at 10am and cooking, yes you read right, COOKING heavenly breakfast and lots of catching up done throughout this whole thing.

i only have one thing left to say, TRADITION! :D prettyplease! :)

I've just been feeling a little disconnected from people and even things for that matter. i just feel like everything's moving and i'm not. i feel like my life is stagnant. and the scariest part? that every day i think to myself, stop wasting time and go do something about your boring life, so that's why i have taken a challenge to do one thing everyday that scares me. baby steps remember? :)

i must have been high, to say you and i weren't meant to be and was just wasting my time.

Complete with Clichés and Metaphors

something you said struck my mind and i came up with this:

if you died, i would probably become cold and bitter. there's this episode in one tree hill where when Peyton "dies", Brooke becomes this emo girl who doesn't talk to anyone, screams "leave me alone" to anyone who talks to her and just shuts the world out.


this would be her.

when/if you die, that's whats gonna happen to me. because i would have lost,




~ my bestest friend.
~ my unofficial mother
~ my secret keeper
~ the person who does random things with me like,
~ my crazy adventure person
~ my to go to person
~ the person with the quirky antiques
~ my movie buddy
~ the one whom i share all my private jokes with
~ the one i have 'mind-conversations' with
~ the whole, just one look can send us into fits of laughter
~ the one who reminds me of almost everything i see

so when you say no one would notice, i would. nothing will ever be the same anymore.


cause the thought of losing you scares the living hell out of me.

i'm not your angel

"you're too nice"

lay here beside me

I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away
And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just wake up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, but it's never too much.
I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my wall

but not goodbye

last sunday, something father simon said that keeps ringing in my ear,


"where do i stand in my journey of faith"


i have always been a good catholic girl that my parents raised me to be. the "go to church every sunday. never miss sunday school" type. but during confirmation camp night, something hit me.

"why do you go to church? do you go to church because you believe in God and know you need him or just because that's how you've been brought up, to go to church every sunday and that God is magnificent?"

and ever since then, i have never stopped questioning my faith.

*its all in my head. its all in my head*

I dont

bawled my freaking eyes out.




i feel we're slipping away.

in my world

You know I always stay up without sleeping
And think to myself
"Where do I belong forever
In whose arms, the time and place?"

never knew what i was missing

updaaaaaates! :D

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the best weekend so far was spent with the parents - daddy (adderlymrcookiemonster), mummy(The Bestest friend Tengku) and the sister(NAD si penguin!) - from watching despicable me again and spending the whole day as a "family", to dinner with rosal(the godfather) and adi(abadabdoooo) and fiqi and then jingbanging with rish :)

-----------------------------------------------------------

dear you,

no more getting my hopes up.


love, me.

reasons for that special someone.

* Good morning text messages
* Late night phone calls.
* Falling asleep on the phone.
* “Babe, guess what?”. “What?”. “I love you”.
* I miss you/I love you random phone calls.
* Being grabbed by the waist.
* Kisses, especially on the forehead.
* 127817392 photos together.
* You guys fight, you walk away .. he comes back for you.
* He’s always there for you, through thick & thin.
* When you watch romantic movies or see couples you don't feel half as bad.
* Because everyone deserves to feel like they mean something to someone.

and not forgetting,

CUDDLES! :)

larger than life.

its cold.

you know your messed up when you cry over episodes of greys anatomy. yes not one, but 3.

you know your messed up when you cry over songs.

you really know your messed up when you laugh so hard and then out of no where start crying and then go back to laughing.


this emptiness is killing me.


i'm going to say its the exam stress but i really dont know.

i'm fine, really. its just kinda freaky.

guilty as charged

yesyes, i have not updated for yonks now :P will update soon! i'm still alive :)

19th

8th June 2010









happy birthday me ;)

I'd play a song that will never ever end

the grandfather - it feels weird. not being able to call you and just ask you how you are, or what your doing or even just to say hi. my only regret is not being able to say goodbye, to tell you i love you to tell you that you mean the world to me. I'm sorry i didn't spend enough time with you and that's breaking my heart.

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my grandfather again

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my grandfather again

♥

the father - for all those times you drove me around, cooked for me, scolded me, praised me, took care of me but most importantly, put up with me, thank you. i can never thank you enough.

"You know how much I love you, Daddy"

♥

the godfather - you took care of me since i was young, treating me like your own daughter. even now, when you have your own. making me see things in perspective. teaching me right from wrong. showing me that life is not all about partying, drugs, sex and all that. for showing me that i can overcome anything when you overcame cancer 6 years ago.

If you wanted the sky, I would write across the sky in letters
That would soar a thousand feet high
To sir, with love

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start
But I would rather you let me give my heart
To sir, with love

If you wanted the world, I'd surround it with a wall, I'd scrawl
These words with letters ten feet tall
To sir, with love

♥

Happy Fathers Day :)

this one's for you

i'm the girl who,

is emo most times.

is sometimes boring

is shy

always, and i do mean always, looks like a mess

most people don't always get along with

finds it hard to accept compliments because she's insecure.

has insecurity issues about almost everything but is working on that

has loads of maybe's, if's, should have's, could have's, what if's

has a tendency of over thinking things.

regrets things every second of the day


but i'm me :)


birthday post next! :D

gave it all away.

go away :(

Just So You Know

someday, i will have a house next to the beach. i promise.


random jo fact:
she loves the beach. as much as she loves one tree hill. and that's a LOT!
its something about the immensity of it that scares her yet captivates her.
its something about the sounds of the waves crashing that tells her everything's gonna be okay.
its something about laying on the sand that makes the outside world disappear.

alright, this talking in 3rd person's point of view is weird so i am going to stop lol.


malacca, was awesome. stakeout van and all ;)


another pointless post.



34. you made it clear to me, you wasn't down for me.