i'm falling apart, barely breathing

"Because we could all use a little help sometimes, ya know? That feeling that everything is going to be okay, and that there is going to be someone there to help make sure of that."


32. i miss what we could have been.

obvious

We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I'm reading into everything
But there's no sign you hear the lightning, baby

livin' the dream

Funny how things change
yet they always stay the same
and the simple things in life
just get tossed into the flames
and I've been down that road before
where you just gotta roll the bones
I don't have much money in my pocket
but I didn't leave none at home

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I'll keep livin' the life
Living the dream on my own.

A million roads to go and
A million roads behind me
I've heard so many stories told
But the good ones never find me
I ain't got no crystal ball
that's showing me the way
I don't know which way I'm going
But I'll get there someday singing

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I'll keep livin' the life
Living the dream on my own.

And after all I've been through
There is nothing left to prove
I'm starting to believe
we could all live the dream
One day at a time
Yes I'm starting to believe
we could all live the dream

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
and I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And and I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I'll keep livin' the life
Living the dream on my own.

moon so bright,

"our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle and an end.
& although this is the way all stories unfold; i still cant believe ours didnt go on forever.."

rarw :)

good time, good times XD

one day,

had to re-vamp the blog to change my header -.-


but yea :)

alright, so i finally watched Dear John with the bestest friend. movie was awesomely depressing. like seriously. i wanted to CRY. like how i cried like a baby for the book. its so freaking sweet!! god!

and if ya'll hasnt heard,

Joanna Nithiya is a jiwang, was always a jiwang and will always be a jiwang (i know someone who would be really really happy with this statement) :P

mushhhy <3

when the world caves in

Joanna Nithiya is OKAY! :)




31. all of a sudden i miss you.

in my head.

RANT!

one,

makes me feel like I'm an incompetent, doesn't know anything, all she does is sit in front of the computer, never does anything in the house person.
"that's all you ever do. sit in front of the computer"

the other,

makes me feel like a complete failure, a screw up, an ass, a dumb midget who doesn't know shit and i would want to be related to her but unfortunately i am.
"i dunno why they let you do it. you'll definitely screw it up. like everything else"

and, the one who means the most to me,

finds ways to show me she thinks i am stupid, embarrassed to even be associated with me, never fails to remind me of the stupid person i am. and shows clear favoritism.
"I'm embarrassed to even say you are my daughter." (her words, not mine)


and people wonder why i have such low self esteem, really..

i was never given the chance to do anything i wanted.
driving.
dancing.
singing.
performing.
hanging with them.

somewhere along, i learned to shut it out. doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.


its not supposed to get to me but it does.




*breaths* that felt better.

she's nothing,

i want to blog but have nothing to blog about. i will be back.

this one's for you, thata

thata,

thank you

- for being the man who had a smile bigger that your face every time i saw you.
- for making my everything, everytime i saw your face light up when you saw us
- for being the person who would cycle to the shop just to get sweets for your grandchildren despite the pain.
- for being the person i looked up to.
- for making me feel like a million bucks.
- for making me believe i can do anything.
- for being the only grandfather i had
- for making me feel like i meant something.

the man who made me feel like i meant something is gone.

seeing you lying in that white box
holding back from screaming at you to wake up
though your gone, your memories live on
i love you thata, and i'll miss you, always and forever.

you wont see me graduate like you always wanted

Rest In Peace Anthonysamy Pillai <3 10th January 1926-25th March 2010
just remembering this past 3 days brings tears to my eyes


now its Daniel, Nicole and Nicholas and turn to have the best time with you thata.

Love, Nithiya.
i never got to say goodbye

no more "selamat pagi thata" "siapa budak melayu ini" "come here, i give you sweets. dont tell your amma ah" sharing secret smiles when amachi was complaining about something. joking about everything and anything.


I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad.

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly.

The day you slipped away.....
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why.
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by

Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back

sweet silver lining

Lucas Eugene Scott is the epitome of sexy :)

shine your light

movie reviewwwww

movie - alice in wonderland

the movie was good!
graphics = awefreakingsome.
storyline = interesting twist to to the classic fairytale.
cast = freaking talented.
favourite character = HATTER! :) and the red queen.
favourite quotes = off with the head
Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

so all in all the movie was good. tim burton is pure genius :D


31. i found i'm scared to know your always on my mind.

wild at heart

after watching the episode where Nathan and Haley get married. season 3 episode 22 :) i decided to blog what i felt was love, since everyone at the wedding had an opinion on love.

love, is giving your heart and soul to that one person.

its about being like an open book to that one person, where there are no secrets, there are no lies

love is about standing up for that one person, wrong or right.

love is fighting with that one person and then saying sorry even if your not wrong cause you just wanna be with that person

love is when that person makes or breaks your day.

and the last one,

love, is love and should never be defined :)



30. i love you

i wanna hold your hand

Joanna Nithiya realizes that phone conversations with Sheril Samantha Bustaman always end up with me laughing really hard! :D and stop recording me singing missy!!!

:D

keep thinking

somewhere along, she lost herself.


29. doing that thing you do.